Well here I am, blogging.

I guess what I want to say first is that I really miss you Chantal. It's really lonely when I'm alone in my room. It's cold inside and outside and it makes everything cold. There was one thing I wanted to tell you but I never got around to it.

I wish I held onto you longer at the airport. I wish I could have etched a more intimate last image of you. I felt my tears swell up inside after hugging my mom and when it got to you, I felt like I was going to break down crying if I thought about it anymore so I didn't let myself. I closed myself off. I had to close my thoughts of you when I was waiting in line, I had to close my thoughts when I was on the plane. I just kept thinking about the things I needed to do and how to take care of myself when I arrived in Shanghai. It wasn't until I got to the room that I thought about everything I left behind, including you. I read your letter and it made me smile. Like you said, letters are something special. It's so personal and I reread it from time to time. It makes me very sad to even write about this so I'm not going to write anymore because I really miss you right now.